Clean Up This Damn Mess

LeeIt’s another one of those slow days here at Civil War Memory, but I didn’t want Robert E. Lee’s birthday to pass without showing due respect.  With that in mind I thought we would once again try our hands at giving this print a caption.  This is a truly bizarre print.  I assume that in addition to Lee and Longstreet we are looking at John Bell Hood and A.P.Hill.  It looks like Hill’s horse is eating blood-stained grass.  What’s Lee complaining about?  Even Traveller looks upset with Longstreet.  I will leave the rest to you.

OK Ken, what do you got for us?

And if you are looking for something to listen to this Saturday evening, here is a nice discussion between Peter Carmichael, Allen Guelzo, and James McPherson.

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“Don Stivers’ Council of War

Four of the
Confederacy’s most brilliant General Officers-Hood, Hill, Longstreet,
and Lee-meeting for the first and last time at Gettysburg, forging
decisions that would effect the lives and fortunes of nations then and
now.”

Now, that being the official caption, let’s go over what may be going on in the picture.

I think Hill is three seconds away from falling off his horse because of his venereal disease, Hood really, really, REALLY doesn’t want to attack the Round Tops, Longstreet is fascinated with his hat, and Lee is getting ready for the greatest ‘pull my finger’ joke in American history. Traveller is begging Longstreet not to fall for it.

And, you claim to be objective, Kevin? You deceive yourself in your so-called objectivity. You also prove a horrible historian, Sir.

“Put down the map, Pete, Stuart found an all-you-can-eat buffet on Steinwehr Avenure. Cottage cheese and apple butter!”

Best I could do, sorry.

“If you don’t want to make the attack then why don’t you go back to Washington. Then you can be a traitor to both countries !”

Longstreet: “It’s another of those dispatches from the future, Sir. Several editorials with comments following, from those internet blog periodicals by yankees. Content — more of the same.”

Lee: “So the yankees are still hating us, still lying about us, a century and a half into the future… Why does that not surprise me?”

Hill: “What’d you say that internet thing is, again?”

Hood: “Apparently, some kind of very advanced telepgraph…”

Interesting comment given the criticism Longstreet received by the Lost Causers.

Lee: “General Longstreet, that English weirdo wants to talk to you again.”

(This painting is on the cover of an edition of Freemantle’s diary.)

Longstreet: “Given that Hill has turned into a Centaur, my best guess is that we’re in Narnia.”
Lee: “Isn’t Narnia back that way? I am so very tired…”
Hood: “I TOLD you we should’ve gone around to the right!”

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