Travoltifying the Civil War

John Travolta’s butchering of Idina Menzel’s name last night at the Oscars is now a handy little widget that you can use to “Travoltify” your own name. My name becomes Kelvin Lezwis. I decided to plug in a few names from the Civil War for fun:

  • Stonewall Jackson becomes “Sebastian Jerkson”
  • Abraham Lincoln becomes “Archibald Wailson”
  • James Longstreet becomes “Joss Lopeez”
  • Robert E. Lee becomes “Robbie Edbrards”
  • Alexander Stephens becomes “Aleksander Sorphens”
  • Ulysses S. Grant becomes “Ellis Stonz”
  • Bonus: Alexander Schimmelfennig becomes “Aleksander Sancheez”

You get the picture.

CraterThanks for reading this post. Scroll down, leave a comment and join the conversation if you are so inclined. Follow me on Twitter and join the Civil War Memory Facebook group for continuous updates and additional links to newsworthy items from around the interwebs. Stay up to date by subscribing to this blog’s feed. You can also check out my recently published book, Remembering the Battle of the Crater: War as Murder.

8 comments… add one

  • M.D. Blough Mar 3, 2014

    Mine is “Mustafa Blork”

  • Andy Hall Mar 3, 2014

    “Ayden Hoyll”

  • Matt McKeon Mar 4, 2014

    Ellis Stonz, general of the Army of the Groovy.

    “Mr. President, he’s high.”

    “I can’t spare that dude. He fights.”

  • R E Watson Mar 4, 2014

    “Rosie Wailson”

  • Ben Allen Mar 4, 2014

    His first name wasn’t “Stonewall!” That was his sobriquet!! Thomas Jonathan Jackson Travolitified is “Tobias Johnzon.” Presumably “Sebastian Jerkson,” or just “Sebastian,” would be his butchered nickname.

    Also, you left out the p in Schimmelpfennig, so his name Travoltified is actually “Alisdair Sancheez.” :)

    • Kevin Levin Mar 4, 2014

      His first name wasn’t “Stonewall!” That was his sobriquet!!

      Are you really accusing me of not knowing his first name? I was just having a little fun. Thanks for the correction on the latter.

  • Marian Latimer Mar 6, 2014

    Morgan Magiller. I’m going to put in for a legal name change. Sounds “gangsta.” I’ve always wanted to be badass.

  • Craig L. Mar 7, 2014

    I watched the show and had no idea what the actual name of the performer was that he was introducing and still don’t, but do remember discussing with my wife the fact that Travolta appeared to be squinting at the teleprompter and we wondered out loud if he perhaps needed glasses and may have forgotten or been too vain to wear them.

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