Travoltifying the Civil War

John Travolta’s butchering of Idina Menzel’s name last night at the Oscars is now a handy little widget that you can use to “Travoltify” your own name. My name becomes Kelvin Lezwis. I decided to plug in a few names from the Civil War for fun:

  • Stonewall Jackson becomes “Sebastian Jerkson”
  • Abraham Lincoln becomes “Archibald Wailson”
  • James Longstreet becomes “Joss Lopeez”
  • Robert E. Lee becomes “Robbie Edbrards”
  • Alexander Stephens becomes “Aleksander Sorphens”
  • Ulysses S. Grant becomes “Ellis Stonz”
  • Bonus: Alexander Schimmelfennig becomes “Aleksander Sancheez”

You get the picture.

8 responses... add one

Ellis Stonz, general of the Army of the Groovy.

“Mr. President, he’s high.”

“I can’t spare that dude. He fights.”

His first name wasn’t “Stonewall!” That was his sobriquet!! Thomas Jonathan Jackson Travolitified is “Tobias Johnzon.” Presumably “Sebastian Jerkson,” or just “Sebastian,” would be his butchered nickname.

Also, you left out the p in Schimmelpfennig, so his name Travoltified is actually “Alisdair Sancheez.” :)

His first name wasn’t “Stonewall!” That was his sobriquet!!

Are you really accusing me of not knowing his first name? I was just having a little fun. Thanks for the correction on the latter.

Morgan Magiller. I’m going to put in for a legal name change. Sounds “gangsta.” I’ve always wanted to be badass.

I watched the show and had no idea what the actual name of the performer was that he was introducing and still don’t, but do remember discussing with my wife the fact that Travolta appeared to be squinting at the teleprompter and we wondered out loud if he perhaps needed glasses and may have forgotten or been too vain to wear them.

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