“Magnolia Morning”

I thought we might start the week off with a scene of peace and beauty.

“It was the morning of great dreams and the day of high hopes. The night before, a gala ball had celebrated Southern nationhood, and had honored the men in gray who would go to war the next day. Hours later, as the soft morning light bathed a new day, it was time for goodbyes. Now, young men in new uniforms shared farewells with loved ones. It was a bittersweet moment: departure was difficult, but ahead awaited glory, honor and the fortunes of war. It was a scene reenacted throughout America – both in the North and the South. Soon, however, the romance of the moment would disappear. Ahead lay the realities of war. More than 5,000 would fall at First Manassas. Another 23,000 would be lost at Sharpsburg, and more than 50,000 would become casualties of war at Gettysburg. For the present, however, Americans were basking in a patriotic glow. The young men of the North were preparing to fight for the Union. Southerners were rushing to arms to defend their homeland. The ball was over, and ahead lay the wages of war. Yet, in the fleeting softness of a new day and the gentle squeeze of a tender embrace, there was a brief and shining moment that would be remembered always.”

Fill in the blank: “My darling, _____________________________.”

[print by Mort Kunstler]

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Michelle Pfeiffer — “My darling, I swear it will never happen again. I promise, I won’t even go back to Arlington house! But when I saw those little ponies, andthe way he held his sword, and…that mustache — OH that mustache! — how could I resist?”

Harrison Ford — “Damn that Robert E. Lee…”

What about dem ol folks at home? Where’s the entertainment? And those shadowy coachmen in gray wouldn’t happen to be black Confederates, now, would they?

Nice Louisiana State Flag, btw. Too bad these young gents don’t have a few Nawlins wharf rats in fez and baggy blue ticking to round out the happy scene.

“… Have you noticed that many of our faithful servants are nowhere to be found around us? I’m sure they have flocked to join our cause!”

“My darling, we must go inside, Levin is about to open his birthday presents and there will be cake. Don’t tell, but I bought him an “over the hill” gag gift at Hallmark.”

“My Darling, I have noticed the way that field hand, Mandingo, looks at you when he thinks I am not observing him. And Darling, I know it is but my fevered imagination, but I thought once that you and he shared such a glance as he hitched the horses to the carriage that we might go to church. I meant to sell him down the river before I left, but have run out of time…”

“My darling, I just took a look at Kunstler’s other LE, ‘On To Richmond.’ Apparently, the Yankees will be raining fire on us.”

“Mag-no-leah, mah darlin’, nevah let ut bea sayd thayt thuh brav men uf Dixie wah unwillin’ to fat for slav- Ah, mean, heritage!”

“Ah, yas, Boo-re-garde, mah luv’, whuh ah those brave men of the Corn-fed-racy’s sable ahm, yah vera own reg’ment, the 54th South Cah-o-lyna Voluntaars (Cuhluhed)? Ah bah-leev ah saw ‘em hyeah, hyeah-abuts…wheah-evah did they-ah go?”

“My darling, the Yankees may well hang me, but Kevin Levin will hang you on his wall. … so stop smiling!”

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